'I'm under orders from Her Purpleness, this year. If you gets around, you gets to see the real Rose. Maybe. If it suits her scheme. If it's written in the Book, she'd say. The real Rose, eh?"

You've seen the carnival fakes, of course. But imagine: The real thing! A legendary vegetable like no other. The Opportunistic Urchin winks exaggeratedly at you. 'I'll find yer later an' show yer the way. Don't tell anyone!' he whispers, loud enough to wake the neighbours, before disappearing through the window. Now you will have to wait for him to turn up again.